John Kerry was going to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside
Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the Cardinal and said to him, "We've been getting a lot of bad
publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and
the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if
during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint."

The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.

Kerry shows up, and as the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his
homily.

"John Kerry is petty, a self - absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. He is a
liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've
ever personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a
saint.